THINGS GET BUMPY BEFORE THEY GET BETTER

I just realised that I didn’t do a ‘On My Mind…’ post for the past two Mondays. I think It’s a good thing as sometimes things do become overwhelming and too deep when they really are just simple.

Over the past month I have read several blog posts, all focusing on ‘alone time’, ‘why did we start blogging’ and ‘have we lost the true meaning of blogging’. These are all very interesting points and I think I am slowly getting back to the root of all of them. So I sat down and thought about it and this what I have come up with…

I started blogging because:
– I wanted to share my thoughts, deep or otherwise.
– I wanted to share my hobbies.
– I wanted to share my adventures.
– I wanted to show you the beautiful people in my life.
– I wanted to share my life, day to day at some stage.
– I wanted to use this as an outlet to discover my core, to sift out all the unnecessary & really enjoy ME & the world around me.
love and belongingI have had many relationship falling outs over the past week. I have learned that there is a great deal of respect needed for everyones personal choices, no matter how hurtful they might seem to you at the time. Everyone deserves to be happy and have that happiness around them.

I have found comfort in discovering the route to all my anxieties and am so glad to be working through them, although on ones own is not always easy, you are able to discover many corners of yourself which you have steered away from for too long…which leaves many more questions to be answered but a clear path lies ahead.

The recent illness of someone close to me has brought much realisation to me on how silly my worries/problems are in comparison, again casting so much light on how we should be living versing how we try to live.

I have regrouped and reassessed and will be being moving forward in a rather delightful manner. I am no longer negative (well 80%) and am looking at nothing but the bright future that lies ahead. These ‘On My Mind…’ Mondays will no longer be so heavy but rather light and full of wonderful thoughts and musings (smile).

With 2015 just around the corner I hope to achieve more than just self reflecting, but rather a place for you to come read more about my two projects (RO-RO and MothWorks), the odd beauty review, adventures in the kitchen and the outdoors as well as some occasional curiosities.

I wish for you to enjoy these erratic thoughts and to become more comfortable with the person you are reading about, perhaps you relate to some of these struggles, or maybe you just enjoy the the baking part of my blog. I would really like to hear from you…

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THE BEGINNING OF A JOURNEY IS NEVER EASY

I think, I think a lot! And this means being on my own so much is not always the best thing. Simple tasks become a monstrous battle of logic and emotion. And this is why I started these posts, ‘On My Mind…’, I figured it was time to get everything out on paper. But that didn’t work as I would just keep re-writing the same line over and over again making sure it was neat enough, several journals, and many pages torn out, later and I took the next step to putting it online.

I type as I think which makes it easier to get all my thoughts down before they escape me. I want these entries to be straight from my mind. So they are disjointed, erratic and the grammar is not always the best, but do thoughts worry about grammar, past and present tense. I know mine don’t.

I find a part of me constantly trapped in the past. I wonder how things got so bad so quickly, how I had everything and then managed to almost have nothing so quickly. So I dwell on what was and what might or had happened, I go over it once, twice, ten, thirty times and still nothing quite makes sense. I hear you have to start at the leaves and then work your way down the twigs, to the branches, joining in with the trunk before heading to the roots.
Her mindMy problems are not dyer, I have not lost a loved one although loosing friendships and people close to you feel just as I imagine loosing a loved one would feel. I start to look around me and climb out of my world which has become so small and I see so much colour, I hear music and fall in love with things all over again. It reminds me that I care, I care a lot, I love people I love all the living creatures on this planet. I feel a real need to reconnect to these emotions, I lost my way and together lost what these things mean, I tainted things – I over-planned, over-thank and under appreciated people, life and the like. I allowed my constant hanging onto the past to ruin the amazing things that were happening right in front of me.

I am having trouble getting used to the fact that things will never be the same again and in the same breathe I am hoping things get better and brighter for those that are dear to me. Sometimes when we lose our way we panic, when all we had to do was stop, breathe and slowly find our way back. So here I go…

Printable via: French Press Mornings - http://goo.gl/rMTtH5
Printable via: French Press Mornings – http://goo.gl/rMTtH5

I like movies, I love books but I don’t make enough time to read. I like to learn, I like to explore and discover. I love moths and butterflies, I love orchids although I am not doing a great job with keeping them all alive – I over-care for them, worry over them and get finicky. I like the rain, the wet ground under my feet, leaping into a large body of water, lying on my back and staring at the sky. I long for starry nights and longer days. I am learning to be comfortable with my 6ft3inch self, I am fighting for my dreams, I encourage others to do the same. I look at the beauty in everything and find the best in everyone.

I am on a journey, to discover my core.